Three Important Words

“I’LL BE THERE.”   If you have ever had to call a friend in the middle of the night, to take a sick child to hospital, or when your car has broken down some distance from home, you will know how good it feels to hear the phrase, “I’ll be there.”  Being there for another person is the greatest gift we can give.  When we are truly present for other people, important things happen to them and us.  We are restored emotionally and spiritually.  Being there is at the very core of civility.

“I MISS YOU.”  Perhaps more marriages could be saved and strengthened if couples simply and sincerely said to each other, “I miss you.”  This powerful affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed, desired, and loved.  Consider how ecstatic you would feel, if you received an unexpected phone call from your spouse in the middle of your workday, just to say “I miss you.”

“MAYBE YOU’RE RIGHT.”  This phrase is highly effective in diffusing an argument and restoring frayed emotions.  The flip side to “maybe I’m wrong”.  Let’s face it.  When you have a heated argument with someone, all you do is cement the other person’s point of view.  They - or you – will not change their stance and you run the risk of seriously damaging the relationship between you.  Saying “maybe you’re right” can open the door to further explore the subject, in which you may then have the opportunity to get your view across in a more rational manner.

“PLEASE FORGIVE ME.”  Many broken relationships could be restored and healed if people would admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness.  All of us are vulnerable to faults, foibles, and failures.  A man should never be ashamed to own up that he has been in the wrong – which is saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

“I THANK YOU.”  Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy.  People who enjoy the companionship of good, close friends are those who don’t take daily courtesies for granted.  They are quick to thank their friends for their many expressions of kindness.  On the other hand, people whose circle of friends is severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.

“COUNT ON ME.”  A friend is one who walks in when others walk out.  Loyalty is an essential ingredient for true friendship; it is the emotional glue that bonds people.  Those that are rich in their relationships tend to be steady and true friends.  When troubles come, a good friend is there, indicating “you can count on me.”

“LET ME HELP.”  The best of friends see a need and try to fill it.  When they spot a hurt, they do what they can to heal it.  Without being asked, they pitch in and help.

“I UNDERSTAND YOU.”  People become closer and enjoy each other more if they feel the other person accepts and understand them. Letting your spouse know in so many little ways that you understand him/her, is one of the most powerful tools for healing your relationship.  This applies to any relationship.

“GO FOR IT.”  We are all unique individuals.  Don’t try to get your friends to conform to your ideals.  Support then in pursuing their interests, no matter how weird they seem to you.  Everyone has dreams, dreams that are unique to that person only.  Support and encourage your friends to follow their dreams.  Tell them to “go for it.”

“I LOVE YOU.”  Perhaps that most important three words that you can say.  Telling someone that you truly love them satisfies a person’s deepest emotional needs.  The need to belong, to feel appreciated and to be wanted.  Your spouse, your children, your friends and you – all need to hear those three little words; “I love you.” 

 … there are many things that we can do to perk up and strengthened our interpersonal relationships. Yet, the most effective involves the saying of just simple three-words, as I mentioned above.  When spoken or conveyed, these statements have the power to forge new friendships, deepen old ones, and restore relationships that have cooled.  Although the most important of all the phrases, “I love you” is just only one of the many expressions we can utter to convey our love and commitment in all our personal relationships.

- (Y)